Lyrics © Keith Pickering
The woke agenda
Made me spill my coffee in my lap
And everybody laughed
Everybody laughed at me
I don't know where they get off
But I know I'll be annoying about this forever
We're all out of Splenda
Which is bad news for my blood pressure
It's testing high again
Pressure rising high again
I don't know how they pulled it off
But I know this must be the wokes' fault somehow
And I have got a God-given right
To avoid all personal growth and point fingers
I've got ten of them,
And they haven't been taken away just yet
They're probably plotting about it right now:
"How are we gonna get this guy's fingers?"
Well good luck, your funeral
You're gonna have to reach me first
And I'm unreachable
Everybody's anxious
Every time they have to talk to me
Like they're walkin' on eggshells
So afraid to poke the bear
I don't know if they've kept up with the news
That comedy's legal again
And I don't know why George Soros
Had to go and make everyone at work hate me
If it weren't for him
I'd have like a million friends by now
The odds are always stacked against me,
In an awful neat pile, intentionally
Well tough luck, I'll never give up
You wanna teach me a lesson, huh?
Well I'm unteachable
And I don't care
About all your opinions
When did everybody start to get so political
And analytical?
And I don't care
A bit about what you think
What do you think about that?
What do you think about that?
The woke agenda
Made me spill my coffee in my lap
And everybody laughed
Everybody laughed at me
Now this is my whole personality
And I have got a God-given right
To be rude, obtuse, and generally difficult
You'll never make me join your cult of politeness
Cause I know my rights, miss
I bet they're talkin' about my right now:
"How else can we make this guy's life confusing?"
Groupthink in permanent ink
Your ball and chain's got a missing link
Can't blink, I'll fall into sync
You think you can make me think?